I think we may just have to accept that a lot of journalists have facial blindness.

@Nickiquote

'You may remember him as Dirty Den from Eastenders, but you'll never believe what Leslie Grantham looks like now!'

@TheBreadmonkey What Leslie Grantham looks like now.

@TheBreadmonkey What Leslie Grantham looks like now.

@TheBreadmonkey What Leslie Grantham looks like now.

@Nickiquote

Strange to think that his fall from grace - having a consensual wank on a Zoom - would barely have even registered these days. Oh he's done a video wank? So what. Haven't we all? I'm doing one now in my meeting about budget forecasts. So is the FD. Why, sometimes I've done as many as six video conference wanks before breakfast. Bring back Dirty Den, I say. All is forgiven. We no longer kink shame. And anyway it turns out there are a bunch of guys who have been upto much much worse the whole time and we put them in government, so you can carry on doing your acting or whatnot. It's like my old grandpappy used to say - a finger in the mouth is better than an island full of children.

Some of them are of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the most recognisable people in the world, including in those photos you are showing me of him at age 77 or in costume for a film.

I really think you might have had a stroke or something, you should definitely get that checked out.

@TheBreadmonkey I mean, yeah, but considering he actually murdered someone I think he did alright, cancel culture wise.

@Nickiquote

Oh did he? I take it back then. That is a bit steep even for nowadays. At least for an actor. He could still be a billionaire or president of the world or whatever.

@TheBreadmonkey He killed a German taxi driver when he was a soldier stationed in Germany. He was spotted by Leela off Doctor Who, Louise Jameson, on a prison acting scheme and was encouraged to act when he got out. One of his first roles was in Resurrection of the Daleks.

So he at least served his time.

@Nickiquote

This cannot be true. What a bizarre sequence of events. He's a true redemption story. Bigger than Anakin/Vader. Let's get a new Star Wars done but about Dirty Den. We're gonna need an actor to play him. Now I know what you're thinking, but I feel like Dirty Ben might hurt my brand and I'm not keen on the finger in mouth wanking scene. The next most logical choice of course is Olly Murs. Let's get him locked in. We're gonna be rich! Grantham in Space. It's gonna be the feel-good hit of the summer.

@Nickiquote

Strange to think that his fall from grace - having a consensual wank on a Zoom - would barely have even registered these days. Oh he's done a video wank? So what. Haven't we all? I'm doing one now in my meeting about budget forecasts. So is the FD. Why, sometimes I've done as many as six video conference wanks before breakfast. Bring back Dirty Den, I say. All is forgiven. We no longer kink shame. And anyway it turns out there are a bunch of guys who have been upto much much worse the whole time and we put them in government, so you can carry on doing your acting or whatnot. It's like my old grandpappy used to say - a finger in the mouth is better than an island full of children.

@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Toobin

@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Toobin

@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Toobin

@Nickiquote

Lol. Once again I find myself wondering if I'm wired different to other men because I would never even consider this as an option. There seems to be so many stories of men caught wanking in unexpected situations. Like..... atop a speeding vehicle or..... on safari. Or during a karate tournament. Just do it more normally, men! Not everything has to be a fuckn competition. Oh you did it up the Eiffel Tower? Or during a blizzard? Well done. You get an award for best wanker. We never see stories for extreme wanks by women. I fear I'm getting into territory I'm not totally comfortable in now and feel I'm painting myself into a corner and that I've talked about wanking too much. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. NO MORE WANKING CHAT. LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES.

@TheBreadmonkey I went to Uni with a bloke who liked wanking, and just as he was getting to the vinegar strokes he'd call for his Mum and try to finish before she got there. We nicknamed him "Danger Wanker".@Nickiquote

@Nickiquote

Lol. Once again I find myself wondering if I'm wired different to other men because I would never even consider this as an option. There seems to be so many stories of men caught wanking in unexpected situations. Like..... atop a speeding vehicle or..... on safari. Or during a karate tournament. Just do it more normally, men! Not everything has to be a fuckn competition. Oh you did it up the Eiffel Tower? Or during a blizzard? Well done. You get an award for best wanker. We never see stories for extreme wanks by women. I fear I'm getting into territory I'm not totally comfortable in now and feel I'm painting myself into a corner and that I've talked about wanking too much. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. NO MORE WANKING CHAT. LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AND GO BACK TO OUR LIVES.

@TheBreadmonkey This, from legal journalist Jeffrey Toobin’s Wikipedia page, is not ideally how you’d want your Wikipedia page to be organised.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Toobin

@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.

@TheBreadmonkey Apparently in that new Wuthering Heights film, Margot Robbie has a wank on a moor, a feat not seen in cinema since Laurence Olivier’s Othello.