Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
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@gairdeachas unrelated to anyone's interest in dad bods, we should get together for drinks again
I don't get to hang out with nearly enough card-carrying homos
@alice I'd love that! I'm still in Older Bear Mecca (ie Palm Springs) until mid March and we should get drinks when I'm back!
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice Nope. Not very attractive cishet man here, nothing about my body turns me on and I've got decades of experience indicating no one else really thinks so either.
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@alice I'm very hairy, dad bod shaped and have shoulders wider than any and all bus seats, not exactly no, I'm not exactly what people picture when "Enby" is brought up, I've no idea what people imagine but it usually isn't how I look
@ProphetsCross yeah, (at least on Fedi) "enby" seems to be mostly synonymous with "femme-presenting nonbinary" or "femby" in most folx minds.
I'm of the opinion that when someone tells you they're nonbinary or an enby, then you know exactly one thing about themβthat they're not cishet.
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@alice I'd love that! I'm still in Older Bear Mecca (ie Palm Springs) until mid March and we should get drinks when I'm back!
@gairdeachas totally!
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@alice Nope. Not very attractive cishet man here, nothing about my body turns me on and I've got decades of experience indicating no one else really thinks so either.
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice I've frankly put a lot of effort into self-improvement over the last 10 years, and I can absolutely appreciate the results both physical and mental, and I can appreciate how both might turn on a partner. I guess you could say it's the feeling that I can be sexy, that I can be a good partner, a good parent and a good family member, where that previous version of myself 10 years ago would struggle to be described as any of the above
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice Is there a way to change your vote? Because I meant to click βNoβ instead of βYesβ but cannot find an undo
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
I voted "I'm nonbinary; yes". Up until a couple years ago I would've answered no.
I've always been bi/pansexual, so other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ, but I'd been convinced that most people only liked me for my body, so I had a complicated relationship with itβa combination of living at the gym to make my body more attractive to peopleΒ² and then hiding it under a big hoodie.
But since I've been in healthy relationships and started unlearning toxic things regarding my self-image and presentation, I've started finding my own body attractive for the first time.
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I voted "I'm nonbinary; yes". Up until a couple years ago I would've answered no.
I've always been bi/pansexual, so other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ, but I'd been convinced that most people only liked me for my body, so I had a complicated relationship with itβa combination of living at the gym to make my body more attractive to peopleΒ² and then hiding it under a big hoodie.
But since I've been in healthy relationships and started unlearning toxic things regarding my self-image and presentation, I've started finding my own body attractive for the first time.
@alice its the third place for a reason. I am, once again, concerned about cishet men
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice ok so this is really well timed because Iβm having ~gender things~ .
And um I realized for a while , esp in my 20s, I was presenting myself like who my ideal partner in bed would be, in part because that was way easier & highly socially rewarded.
So then, esp when I was still βstraight,β sleeping or scening w/ men I wasnβt attracted to, i could get into it by focusing on aspects of me, because I looked like my definition of hottie. But only aspects, bc dysphoria!
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I voted "I'm nonbinary; yes". Up until a couple years ago I would've answered no.
I've always been bi/pansexual, so other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ, but I'd been convinced that most people only liked me for my body, so I had a complicated relationship with itβa combination of living at the gym to make my body more attractive to peopleΒ² and then hiding it under a big hoodie.
But since I've been in healthy relationships and started unlearning toxic things regarding my self-image and presentation, I've started finding my own body attractive for the first time.
@alice btw huge congrats on the work of slowly making body more welcome of a home. I know itβs not easy.
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I voted "I'm nonbinary; yes". Up until a couple years ago I would've answered no.
I've always been bi/pansexual, so other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ, but I'd been convinced that most people only liked me for my body, so I had a complicated relationship with itβa combination of living at the gym to make my body more attractive to peopleΒ² and then hiding it under a big hoodie.
But since I've been in healthy relationships and started unlearning toxic things regarding my self-image and presentation, I've started finding my own body attractive for the first time.
Heh, forgot the footnotes.
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@alice Is there a way to change your vote? Because I meant to click βNoβ instead of βYesβ but cannot find an undo
@MelissaAtwell what's voted on Fedi stays on Fedi, unfortunately.
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Heh, forgot the footnotes.
@alice Ngl kinda read them as "it's more complicated but not gonna elaborate right now".
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@natkr that's the gist, yeah
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I voted "I'm nonbinary; yes". Up until a couple years ago I would've answered no.
I've always been bi/pansexual, so other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ, but I'd been convinced that most people only liked me for my body, so I had a complicated relationship with itβa combination of living at the gym to make my body more attractive to peopleΒ² and then hiding it under a big hoodie.
But since I've been in healthy relationships and started unlearning toxic things regarding my self-image and presentation, I've started finding my own body attractive for the first time.
Circa 2014, prior to my transition, I practiced looking at myself in the mirror everyday after my shower, trying make myself to like my body. I despised it. It eventually worked. I stared long enough to start seeing past my own delusions about what it looked like, to see that I was hot!
That prep really made it easy for me once I recognized that I am trans. And I realize now, that I never despised my body, I was just didn't fit well in into my meatsuit with that configuration.
@alice -
Heh, forgot the footnotes.
@alice hmm, I'm always curious about people's pan footnotes. A lot about pansexuality resonates with me, except for the empirical fact that I am almost (but not absolutely) never attracted to men.
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@alice hmm, I'm always curious about people's pan footnotes. A lot about pansexuality resonates with me, except for the empirical fact that I am almost (but not absolutely) never attracted to men.
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice More indifferent than anything.
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@alice hmm, I'm always curious about people's pan footnotes. A lot about pansexuality resonates with me, except for the empirical fact that I am almost (but not absolutely) never attracted to men.
@eruonna so, when I say "other folx gender wasn't really a factor in who I found attractiveΒΉ", the ΒΉ stands for "it's more complicated than that", specifically:
- body hair is a huge turnoff for me, and (most) men tend to let that stuff grow wild
- "boy-smellΒ²" is another big turnoff for me, and surprise, it's significantly more common on boys
- in general, men need to put in a similar amount of workΒ³ as women for me to find them attractiveSo it shakes out that I end up being hot for way more women and other femme-presenting folx than I do men or masc-presenting folx, just by merit of two of my biggest turn-offs happening to be *way* more common in men (gay men offset this math somewhat, but they tend to be gay, so
β
οΈ).Β² that musky gym sock smell. I know some folx love itβhell, they make like a hundred 12-in-1 body products to make men specifically smell *more* like that, so someone must think it smells good. Give me vanillas, strawberries, brass, lock lubricant, etc *anyβ΄* day.
Β³ most don't.
