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My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
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She stopped me and told me how awful it is to hear. Not just to hear her mother speaking about herself like that, but because this is how habits are built and passed on.
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THREAD
1/
My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
You look fab. Your daughter has a good eye, too.
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She stopped me and told me how awful it is to hear. Not just to hear her mother speaking about herself like that, but because this is how habits are built and passed on.
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We talked about it. I explained why I think and feel this way. The racism, the misogyny. I think I say it out loud because it feels safer to diminish myself than to risk being seen without doing so. It is a learned way of managing shame. I agreed with her that it is unhealthy, for me and for my daughters.
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We talked about it. I explained why I think and feel this way. The racism, the misogyny. I think I say it out loud because it feels safer to diminish myself than to risk being seen without doing so. It is a learned way of managing shame. I agreed with her that it is unhealthy, for me and for my daughters.
4/4
So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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She stopped me and told me how awful it is to hear. Not just to hear her mother speaking about herself like that, but because this is how habits are built and passed on.
@kristiedegaris And none of that can be seen in the photo. We are our own worst critics.
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THREAD
1/
My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris It's a beautiful photograph!
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So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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@kristiedegaris
It is an excellent photograph, your daughter is talented. -
THREAD
1/
My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris Former photographer, this is a top notch photo. The Rembrandt lighting, the framing, the expression and pose, and that jacket texture!
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4/4
So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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@kristiedegaris It's a good photo. Despite all the above, you look relaxed and comfortable.
My daughter (now 18, at uni) once told me to not worry about my weight/hair/height/whatever it was I was moaning about, because I was still her dad regardless. That made me quiet and thoughtful for quite a while.
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THREAD
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My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris terrific photo
what talents you both have. Loved your book and love this picture - get her to do one for your next book! -
THREAD
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My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris well your daughter is a brilliant photographer, picked a very good subject/model (did you sign a release form
) and happy cake day when it comes. -
THREAD
1/
My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris looks pretty good to me and my housemates
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4/4
So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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Your daughter is very talented. The sharpness/blurring in the photo is just right. The shadows and highlights are perfect for natural lighting without any tricks. The frame and posture are impressive.
I see a really beautiful, self-confident middle-aged woman who hasn't been photoshopped – and there's really no need to.
And I'm already looking forward to your book – it's next in line on my reading list.
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4/4
So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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@kristiedegaris I've said this before and I may say it again: your daughter is great at taking photographs
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THREAD
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My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris
Wonderful photo, wonderful daughter. I guess she is that way partly because of you.
(Took me (51) some time to learn, got a grown up daughter myself who's one of my best advisors) -
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So here is a photograph taken by a daughter of her mother. That is all. I am trying to learn from that.
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@kristiedegaris Your daughter is talented, it's a good photograph. And your forearms tell their own story, that this is a person who does in fact work with stone.
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@kristiedegaris Your daughter is talented, it's a good photograph. And your forearms tell their own story, that this is a person who does in fact work with stone.
@acsawdey Haha. They do indeed look hulking in this photo but honestly, it's the light. Not so irl I'm afraid.
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My daughter took this photograph of me today, quickly, in my bedroom. We swept the mess off the table, moved the dirty clothes off the chair and tried to make things look presentable, including me.
I complained the entire time about how I looked. The light wasn’t good, my hair was greasy, I’m 42 on Sunday, I want to lose weight, I’m in perimenopause. But this is something I do. Saying it out loud has become a habit.
@kristiedegaris You look lovely.
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