I defibrillate myself every morning.

@lowqualityfacts do I have to fribrilate it first?

@lowqualityfacts

That's shocking!

@lowqualityfacts um, I think your account has been taken over by RFKJR

@lowqualityfacts Things to know if you're planning to have a medical emergency on an airplane:

1. Medical professionals are trained to keep you conscious and talking, and will ask you stuff like "What's your name?" and "What do you do?"

1.b. Everyone around you is listening and will google your name and occupation.

2. Flight attendants are not trained to keep you conscious and talking. They are—or they say they are—trained to use the defibrillator, and are straight up looking for any excuse to use it, whether your heart has stopped or not.