Weird questions for the trans folk:

Tyla (Combat Waifu Yuri Arc)

Any of y’all played music in a live band before transition, then stopped playing with others for a while during transition, then went back to it?

Playing music in a band setting is…oddly dysphoric. Like I’m just a regular-ass woman all day, and then I play in a band and suddenly have all this dysphoria-inducing dude feeling.

I mean music was sort of “peak dude act” for me. More even than the military where I just stopped giving a shit if I fit in. It’s like I mapped my dude mask harder in music and wondered if others felt that.

Sugar, Spite, & Caffeine

@FinalGirl we went to a sing-in recently and i had to invest some serious effort into not dropping into masc voice (which i never ever use and cant even find when i try). there was also a lot of flailing around, trying to figure out how to sing in femme voice, especially in a group.

i think singing, whether its performing or communal, requires a sort of persona, and i need to build a new one—and until i do, my body tries to fall back on earlier defaults.

EVHaste

@FinalGirl I sort of understand what you’re describing. Choir and singing is sort of like that for me (but at least some of that is dysphoria about voice so I guess that’s not a good comparison even though it’s music)

Joscelyn Transpiring

@FinalGirl on a different thing, but accessing the languages I know can be like this at times. My summer trip in Japan last year was helpful in reseting my Japanese, but I still had dysphoric moments and times when I felt not fully aligned within myself. Japan was the first place I lived where I found a masculinity that wasn’t intolerable for me to embody, so it was mapped all over a bunch of my experiences and skills built there.

Not the same, I know, but maybe something parallel that for me your description resonated with

Dr. Sobek

@FinalGirl Were you a professional soldier before you transitioned ? Or even after ?
Or just a conscript who wasn’t really there by choice ?

And I hope you can find your woman music voice and enjoy yourself again in music.

(I wonder if a girl band, with different instruments and style could help reset ?)

Ranja ١٣١٢

@FinalGirl
Not with music but I have that with protesting. There was a time where black bloc shit was so fucking peak dude performance for me....

And it's really about the public performance act. I don't have that doing other "projecting violence" things like being a bouncer or my military time.

hrast

@FinalGirl "mapped my dude mask" - - band name. Or mountain peak name

Chèvre Mousse

@FinalGirl I know a guy who changed instrument as he transitionned ^^'