My company requested a "headshot" and this is the best photo I can find.

I stumbled upon this mexican restaurant with the cutest little mascot and I want everyone to see it!

I was talking to my husband about how he has really nice dark and thick eyelashes, similar to the smoke show that is Richard from LOST, and he was like"STOP! you're going to make my confidence hit the ceiling!" and I was like "Babe, you're already up on the skylight with your balls slapping against the window like an agitated baboon" so don’t tell me I don’t know about romance.

I ordered a heart shaped pizza for Valentine's Day and was sad to find that it was shaped like the dumb kind of heart kids draw rather than an anatomical heart.

Gonna start calling my air fryer the CornBaller because that thing inevitably burns me no matter what I do.

Can everyone please stop with the AI generated profile pics?

It's absolute slop and it's killing the environment.

If you want a profile pic that's grossly exaggerated and looks nothing like you, I'd be happy to draw a bad caricature for free.

Can someone let me know the average cooking time for fish?

I can't locate one of those handy time tables on the microwave in the employee break room.

Shitty people think "woke" is a derogatory term because they've yet to wake the fuck up.

"I didn't vote for him!"

No, but you also didn't effectively use your vote against him, either.

I’m sorry that the Democratic candidate wasn't perfect enough for you to keep this absolute monster out of office.

Do you think the eligible voters who withheld their vote for Kamala Harris understand that they're part of the problem, yet?

I think I finally mastered air fryer tofu!

Take 1 block of drained extra firm tofu and tear it into pieces (about 1/2" to 1")

(It's important to tear rather than cut to get the rough edges because it improves the texture when you fry it)

Mix with 2 Tbsp of soy sauce and 1 Tbsp of sesame oil and let it marinate for at least an hour.

(You can also use any oil or sauce you want, but I'd recommend something salty and a complementary oil)

Mix 2 Tbsp cornstarch with 1–2 Tbsp of other seasonings of your choice

(I used garlic powder and onion powder)

Toss the tofu in the dry mix until coated and no white powder is visible.

Air fry at 400 degrees for 15 minutes, tossing the basket once halfway through.

Mix with any other veggies/noodles/rice and sauce and enjoy!

@Waitnwallflower TYMO CurlPro! There's also a Plus version with a longer barrel that's more expensive, but I don’t think it's necessary unless your hair is super long.

Also, apparently code BOO30 gets you 30% off.

I swear that's not a shady referral code. It's just what I saw on the site when I was looking up the link.

It's honestly really good and super easy and I am VERY bad at doing my hair but this is somehow powerful enough to combat my stupidity and lack of coordination.

https://tymobeauty.com/collections/hair-curler/products/tymo-curlpro-grey

I get so frustrated whenever people ask me questions about things that I have ALREADY talked about. It's as if they're not even reading my LiveJournal.