US Department of Health and Human Services announces that sucking on the side of a wild horse is the only approved american food

The reason that force consistently has to be employed to reinforce hierarchy speaks to how deeply unnatural hierarchy is

I pull up my left sleeve to reveal a futuristic-looking watch. I rotate the crown of the watch and press the button on the side, immediately initiating a drone launch that skyhooks me to my mind palace. I am rotating an origami crane perpendicular to the normal plane of its beak

Microscopic salt lake worm, our only hope in these trying times https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/01/260110211227.htm

Moss has like the most batshit lifecycle. What the fuck, bryophytes?

"Oh, sorry, Bart! I didn't realize that you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown in here"

https://scienceclock.com/rats-caught-on-camera-hunting-flying-bats-for-the-first-time/

Whoaaaaaa

https://www.theregister.com/2025/01/15/make_up_thwart_facial_recognition/

JD Vance is what happens when you put Frosty's magic hat on a pre-owned bratwurst

I wish I had a wider variety of drugs at thismoment

I don't know how to convince people that words mean things even if you don't know what they mean yourself

Oh god I'm gonna racheteer

"[says a bunch of things]
but I'm not GOING to say those things."

I do sometimes get the impression that other countries do not realize that US police departments- even ones in my relatively sleepy city- are buying equipment from the literal army. Like the things we're subjugating the middle east with are being "used car, it's new to me!" to local PDs.

Flashlight karambit ring? Weavers of Eternity, you got me again

Fuck, man I think we might just be skipping to Woke 3 and I didn't prepare my training decks yet

22 years after I first picked one up and thought “I think this might be the best marker” the Pilot Super Color is still the best marker

One of my least favorite things about gun conversations is being able to tell when the person I'm speaking to has never lost people to them

What percentage of ICE do we think is flat-earthers?

But really, what is that "&" doing in "AD&D"? There's no "and" involved there. That would be like calling it the "NB&A" or the "N&FL"