@alice I wonder whether it's OK to say that they may have been giving you well-intentioned advice about how the game is played, despite the fact that the game fucking blows. And it assumes that you want to play the same game that they're playing, which is again a huge assumption. Having been on both the assertive and less-assertive side, the advice might not be bad advice... if you want to follow their definition of success (which is assumed to be everyone's - more money and/or power). And I suspect many would choose to play a different game, if they thought one was available. But assertiveness/confidence is almost the only character/personality trait that is selected for, as you get into the upper echelons (again, not an endorsement from my end, just an observation that feels true-ish). Reminds me of this lovely meme I just saw: https://mastodon.social/@wildsown/115999715177871594