I said there were five. The teacher let the rest of the class laugh at me for an excruciating 30-60 seconds before telling them that actually, I was right, because humans are also animals. This answer did not satisfy the mostly Catholic class of kids, who felt that beating the shit out of me at recess that day would help me see the error of my reasoning. Anyway, a lot of times it doesn't matter if you know the right answer if it's a deeply unpopular one.

When I was in the first grade, I remember that our teacher had us read a short picture book about a farmer, his pig, his cow, his horse, and his duck. Then she asked the class a simple question: how many animals were on the farm? Everybody raised their hand for the answer "there were four animals on the farm." Except for me.