@MissingThePt You're not really missing the point much here...

@alice I played Dungeons & Dragons because winning and losing weren’t fun for me

@alice @lispi314 I like interactive conversations where people take turns speaking. If that isn't appropriate, I ask permission to speak for some short amount of time (two or three minutes). This gives people a chance to comment before I start speaking. Very useful when what I was about to say is moot.

@alice I think you are right.

Men need to unlearn this when we leave the schoolyard and enter the adult world.

I think part of the resistance to learning this is imposter syndrome. Young men are full of fears they often cannot share. Those fears get paved over with hostility and domineering, which they pretend is strength. By the time they end up in a meeting with female peers, they have an inescapable need to prove themselves. Their inexperience leads them to believe respect and admiration is a zero-sum game. At that point, any chance of being a good team mate with women is practically lost.

It doesn't have to be that way. But, I'd say it usually is.

I've seen men who respect women in meetings. I learned to do it better, from them. It can be learned, and then things are so much better. A team fighting itself doesn't win very often. More importantly, life is shitty when it's full of conflict, and much more joyful when everyone feels good about their part in a team effort. The team wins together.