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The dragon heard someone disturbing their hoard. Looking in, they saw a knight checking a bejewelled sword.
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
"I have questions about this interstellar travel form," the human said. "What should I put at 'Rose'?"
"The star system you are traveling from," xFfy said.
"I see. And at 'Violet'?"
"The one you're traveling to."
"Ah. Who translated this form?"
"Our best poets, well versed in human poetry."
I have been trapped for ages. I grab a door handle; it breaks off. It's chocolate.
"Ahaha!" The mad chocolatier's laugh rasps from hidden speakers. "Everything here is made of chocolate!"
I stop. Everything? I focus on my fears... They manifest as chocolate monsters.
I eat them.
"You're free."
"Oh," the emperor of the galaxy said, "what happened to that monkey world?"
"Our agents infiltrated them some eight thousand years ago."
"Have they taken over the world?"
"Not yet."
The emperor licked a paw and started washing his ears.
"I'll still count it as one of mine," he purred.
"Sure," said the rocket scientist, "we can send rockets to the moon."
"We can build a city there," said the engineer. "It'll be expensive, but we can do it."
"But why?" said the economist. "What would you mine there you can't get on Earth?"
"One thing," said the billionaire. "Respect."
The alien ambassador sidled through the museum in awe.
"You Humans have so much art! Do you have machines to make all paintings, poems, stories and songs?"
"We experimented with that, briefly," the guide said. "But humans are both cheaper and more creative. And, well, we will make art regardless."
A gravelly voice spoke from under the mayor's bed.
"I hear you need a monster hunter."
The mayor sat up.
"What? Who?"
"I'm a monster. I hunt. What do you need hunted?"
"Beklo the Ogre, but..."
"I'll bring you its head."
"How..."
"I am a monster under the bed. If it sleeps, I can find it."
@dragonfi Thank you.
"I was told you're a monster," the hero said.
"So they say," said the monster.
"But you're beautiful!"
"Thank you."
"Have you always been a monster?"
"Heh. I was a young maiden. But I did something forbidden."
"And became a monster?"
"Got named a monster."
"What did you do?"
"I hit back."
"How about I kidnap the dragon," the knight said, "and you come to rescue them?"
"It's still the same story," the princess said.
"No! We're all subverting-"
"I am tired of being in stories," the dragon said.
"What?"
"If you're not in a story, what even are you?"
"I'd like to find out."
Spaceship lands in the park. A door dilates. Alien comes out. Says to the gathering crowd:
"I've been all over the universe, seen everything. Can you entertain me?"
Someone in the crowd shouts: "Great clown Pagliacci is in town, jokes out of this world!"
Alien starts crying. "But Earthlings..."
The message from the stars was very long and complex, but contained instructions how to decode and parse it incrementally.
There was an image, of a very cute furry creature. And a text, which loosely translated said:
"Send cat pics please!'