Tesla convicted 18 times and ordered to pay thousands for failing to help UK police with investigations

Angus McIntyre

@cstross “Hello, thank you for calling Musk Industries Crime Support Line. Please press 1 if you require assistance committing motoring offenses, 2 if you wish to generate illegal pornography, or 3 for all other options. Alternatively, stay on the line and one of our agents will assist you. Your call may be monitored or recorded for LLM training purposes.”

Charlie Stross

@jaark @coral I note Tesla does/did let prospective customers borrow cars for a test-drive. It's probably that scheme.

jaark

@cstross @coral Ahh, that makes more sense.. and I can see the temptation to do stupid things in a car in an unsupervised test-drive would be high for some people.

Mireya Strife

@cstross oh okay, fine, I thought it was more a telemetry kind of thing. It makes total sense with cars that are actually leased. My fault.

jsl

@mattdm @mstrife @cstross It's the same with car hire. The car is registered to {Avis; Hertz; Sixt; ...}. You rent the car. You speed. The letter goes to the hire car firm. Either they pass it on or they pay.
What happens if the fine doesn't get paid? The force could get a court order and impound the offending vehicle or send a bailiff to seize property.

Eleanor Saitta

@cstross
Thousands. I'm sure they'll change their policy immediately

Charlie Stross

@dymaxion Thousands for *each* offense, by the look of it. Which means Tesla losing money every time due to not having a legally compliant system.

Jernej Simončič �

@jaark @coral @cstross If you buy car on credit, you're the registered owner; if you use leasing instead, the leasing provider (either a bank, or the leasing company) is the owner until you pay off the car.

Coral (bleached era)

good point, thanks!

Eleanor Saitta

@cstross
28k total, though? Like, still. I mean, if there's someone who genuinely values the regulatory relationship it'll get fixed, but this isn't enough money for anyone to actually notice otherwise. Given how much everything is on fire there now, I doubt they'll do anything.

Alan Bellingham

@coral @cstross "pretty tortured way"

No it isn't. For it to be 'in a village', the M4 would have to go through Groes-faen. It doesn't, it merely passes near it, and therefore the stated location is fine

It is also almost certainly what was stated on the police paperwork. IME motorway police give the name of the nearest community when ticketing motorists, so even when the offense wasn't committed within the place, the place will be specified

I'm very glad the journalists aren't clueless

Alan Bellingham

@angusm @cstross As opposed to Musk's Limited, who have rung me twice recently regarding a delivery

(They're a company based in Newmarket that usually trade as Stilton Butchers, but who do make sausages under the original name)

mathew

@angusm @cstross « Tesla has brought back its ‘Mad Max’ mode for its ‘Full Self-Driving (Supervised) that ignores speed limits… »

https://electrek.co/2025/10/16/tesla-mad-max-full-self-driving-mode-ignores-speed-limits/

Nicovel0 🍉

@mathew move fast and break things, literally

Quinn Norton

@cstross 100% getting ignored by musk with zero consequences.

doomy 🦀

@cstross wow might be the only tesla W i've ever seen, acab.

Andi H

@cstross
That's an interesting USP

AndrewBC

@mathew @angusm @cstross why does mad max have a cowboy hat and mustache?!?

Dan Sugalski

@cstross I could absolutely see this as an excellent argument for speeding fines as a percentage-of-assets thing rather than a fixed cost thing. That might possibly get their attention a little sooner.

Steve Foerster 🌐

@mstrife @cstross Still not fine, IMHO.

Better would be for police actually to pull cars over if they're speeding so dangerously so that (1) there's no question who was driving, and (2) people accused of an offense could actually face their accuser, as one should have the right to do in a liberal democracy.