Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request!

@roknrol @alice @schmalzkringel I'm on board with either owls or iguanas (though I'd definitely miss my cats).

But Canada Geese?!?! Having worked at a facility that had a goose 'lurking in the shop' for a while, there is no way anyone's life could continue on unchanged if one of those things replaced a pet dog!! Chaos and gross poops everywhere!

@roknrol @alice @schmalzkringel I used to live with 7 iguanas. They have individual personalities and were fascinating to observe.

But cuddles and scroochies? Cats.

Preferably chilled-out seal-point Siamese, or bonkers abby-tabby-torties. Both like a warm lap and are way easier to clean up after than lizards.

@SnowyCA @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel Are you familiar with this concept?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guard_goose

Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...

If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?

I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.

#CAPTCHAlice

@ambientspace I was just thinking about what animal would look funniest to replace all of the #Caturday images lol

@alice @schmalzkringel

Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...

If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?

I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.

#CAPTCHAlice

@alice

I'd swap cats and dogs with dogs and cats; cats replace dogs in all dog things and vice versa. Mostly just because I think it would be neat to have the same kind of diversity of cat breeds that we do of dogs. Big shaggy cats, tiny cats with big heads, long skinny cats, black cats with orange eyebrows...

I don't really have as much justification for swapping dogs in for cats, but it seemed fair if they are being replaced by cats that they could still have a place in people's homes.

@schmalzkringel

@alice @schmalzkringel I think dogs should be replaced with small dromaeosaurus like velociraptor. Roughly the same size, fast, agile and they probably got fluffy feathers

Cats on the other hand should be replaced with Geckos. I mean.. have you ever looked at one of those small critters? They're smol, cute and look like they're smiling. And they can hunt down all mosquitos who enter ones place

@alice as a Canadian, I agree.

@roknrol @schmalzkringel

@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel There's a reason we call them Cobra Chickens.

@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel During nesting season, they're such assholes. If they come at you, just gotta give them the ol' beakflip.

@grim_elsewhere a goose bit my bare thigh once because I wouldn't give it a cracker. I slapped it.

We both sat for a moment, silently appalled at each other's actions.

Then we both swore at each other from a safe distance until we decided to part ways.

@mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel

@grim_elsewhere a goose bit my bare thigh once because I wouldn't give it a cracker. I slapped it.

We both sat for a moment, silently appalled at each other's actions.

Then we both swore at each other from a safe distance until we decided to part ways.

@mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel

@alice @grim_elsewhere @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel an English swan once bit my moms ass for the same reason. Those birds are mixture of anger, beauty, courage and the power to back it up

When I hung around with some punks at our meeting point next to the river, a pair of swans nested there. On one evening one of the two swans walked right towards us and we shit our pants, because big bad angry bird. And he sat right next to us and did.. Nothing. Except hissing at every person walking nearby.

@enbypirate You can't give any ground to them. Dropkick that football with legs. /s

@alice @mayintoronto @roknrol @schmalzkringel

Hey there @schmalzkringel, thanks for the follow request! Unfortunately there's not enough vibe on your profile to check, so...

If you could swap the world's cats and dogs with two other things, and folx would continue as though their lives and pets had always been that way, what would you choose?

I really want to answer with something like "tiny fainting goats & giant rubber chickens" just for the laughs I'd get out of it.

#CAPTCHAlice

@alice as a Canadian, I agree.

@roknrol @schmalzkringel

@mayintoronto @alice @roknrol @schmalzkringel there's a reason Canadians are considered the nicest human beings on earth : when your only other point of comparison are these avian brutes, it's hard to look bad.