Anyone in the market for a sternwheeler?https://www.denisonyachtsales.com/yachts-for-sale/willamette-queen-87-custom

@sarae @ai6yr @msbellows you could live on it... Waterfront views no matter what

@douglasvb @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows This boat is in my city lol. The county and coast guard kept getting upset with the owner because he kept getting it stuck on sandbars during excursions.

@camless @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows hahaha so the retirement is more about evening USCG sanctions

@douglasvb @camless @sarae @msbellows I seem to recall the fix for the sandbar problem is a young child with a long stick, if my memory of Mark Twain is correct.

@ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @sarae @msbellows

42" draft and they have a habit of getting stuck on sandbars? If I may be allowed an understatement, that does not sound like good captaining.

@camless @douglasvb @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows I wonder what it would cost to move it downstream to the Columbia. Could they helicopter it over Willamette falls?

@intrepidhero @camless @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows I think the locks at Willamette Falls are almost operating again after many years of being closed and broken with no funding for many years.

https://www.willamettefallslocks.org/

@douglasvb @intrepidhero @camless @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows I appreciate the Victorian styling for this vessel, however, I'm confused by the several broadswords nailed to the wall. What's up with that, they look usable too. Are they anticipating hostile boardings? Normally the armorer of the vessel would keep this put away until a hostile action was anticipated. That way, someone doesn't have a chance to use them when they are deep into their grog.

@Will @douglasvb @intrepidhero @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows The owner is quite the eccentric fellow, to say the least

@camless @Will @intrepidhero @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows it would be pretty epic to get a second vessel and have it setup so you can rent both, and do actual pirate battles on the Willamette River.

The swords would have to be foam though.

@douglasvb @camless @Will @intrepidhero @sarae @ai6yr Coward.

@douglasvb @intrepidhero @camless @sarae @ai6yr I don't think getting it down Willamette Falls will be a problem at all. Getting it down them in one piece might be a little trickier.

@W6KME @ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @sarae @msbellows
If I remember Mark Twain correctly, part of the challenge of being a river boat pilot was the sand bars move around. You had to be able to read the water surface to know where the sand bars were each time you went through an area.

@dougfir @W6KME @ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @sarae If only there were some sort of device that, I don't know, bounced sound waves or something through the water and measured how long it took for them to return and then calculated the depth, ideally on an ongoing basis as your ship moved. Someone probably should invent that!

@W6KME @ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @sarae @msbellows
It's possible Mark Twain exaggerated parts of his stories for artistic effect.

@dougfir @W6KME @douglasvb @camless @sarae @msbellows I don't need to hire small children with long sticks? That's disappointing.

@W6KME @ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @msbellows the Willamette is a complex navigational environment

for small watercraft

this is perhaps a bit long

@msbellows @douglasvb @camless @sarae @ai6yr I'm stuck on the mental image of it slung beneath a heavy lift heli soaring through Portland.

But navigating the falls atop a bunch of inflatable rafts is close second.

@douglasvb @camless @Will @sarae @ai6yr @msbellows I like this is definitely an attraction Portland could get behind.

@msbellows @dougfir @W6KME @ai6yr @douglasvb @camless @sarae Using the small child with a stick method, a mechanical device could replace the child, and reach farther ahead than a child's arm. When the stick rises to a dangerous level, it triggers a solenoid to ring an alarm. It would collect muck, though.