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  3. #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

#agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

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agilescrumtechsoftwaredevelopmeme
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  • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

    @mwshook sounds like Kanban @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie

    crazyeddieC This user is from outside of this forum
    crazyeddieC This user is from outside of this forum
    crazyeddie
    wrote on last edited by
    #17

    @PavelASamsonov @mwshook @kwramm @ahltorp A kanban like board is used. Pretty much all the agile methodologies use them. Scrum adds a bunch of other stuff that made it acceptable to PM types when Agile was newer. Now Agile is fairly well recognized as a valid approach to PM.

    Most teams are probably better off going more the LEAN route than Scrum. LEAN is basically, KanBan+ whatever works--the object to whittle down your process to the bare essentials so you can just make stuff.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬

      @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov Velocity has nothing to do with Scrum. It's mentioned exactly 0 times in the Scrum guide. And that is really where the problem with "Scrum" starts... the Scrum-Industrial-Complex tries to sell you all this extra crap on top... (Jira, story points, planning poker, and whatever crap you can turn into a paid-for training...or book!)

      Travis F WT This user is from outside of this forum
      Travis F WT This user is from outside of this forum
      Travis F W
      wrote on last edited by
      #18

      @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov for the record, "rock solid velocity" was the end-goal of James Shore's version of Agile (not Scrum), which I have always appreciated.

      Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • crazyeddieC crazyeddie

        @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's actually not that bad as a starting point. One of the heavier agile process systems but it's workable and it works within a large business that expects a bunch of process. Has established roles that are well described, which is pretty important if you are required to work within the bounds of a QMS.

        People love to hate on it but it's better than a lot of the alternatives. Provides some structure for leaders who can't seem to come up with any otherwise.

        Sam Livingston-GrayG This user is from outside of this forum
        Sam Livingston-GrayG This user is from outside of this forum
        Sam Livingston-Gray
        wrote on last edited by
        #19

        @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov as process, it's tolerable(ish), but the trap is that it is entirely agnostic to the rigorous technical practices that made early XP teams successful—so it's up to the people doing the actual work to maintain internal quality in the face of pressure from clueless MBA types to "make number go up."

        But hey, let's tag in @jamesshore for fun. Hi, Jim! 👋🏻

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        • shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M shook.rocks :pdx_badge:

          @PavelASamsonov Wow. I haveread Charles Stross's "The Rhesus Chart", the 5th book of the Laundry Files, where a scrum of amoral investment bank quants turn into vampires. I figured scrum was generic British slang for an office team. Now after 30 seconds of googling for agile scrum I am truly chilled to the bone.

          Cadbury MooseC This user is from outside of this forum
          Cadbury MooseC This user is from outside of this forum
          Cadbury Moose
          wrote on last edited by
          #20

          @mwshook @PavelASamsonov

          The Laundry books are like that, a nice Lovecraftian (or other) horror story spliced with Cold War bureaucracy and IT.

          This moose got nowhere near "death march" programming and Agile, but did have to endure ISO9000/BS5750 and "Lean", plus "Race to the bottom" Outsourcing/Offshoring, "Everything at the cheapest possible price", and every problem/change management system being worse than the one before.

          I'm retired now. I have no regrets.

          Pavel A. SamsonovP 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M shook.rocks :pdx_badge:

            @PavelASamsonov Wow. I haveread Charles Stross's "The Rhesus Chart", the 5th book of the Laundry Files, where a scrum of amoral investment bank quants turn into vampires. I figured scrum was generic British slang for an office team. Now after 30 seconds of googling for agile scrum I am truly chilled to the bone.

            Michael ValkenbergV This user is from outside of this forum
            Michael ValkenbergV This user is from outside of this forum
            Michael Valkenberg
            wrote on last edited by
            #21

            @mwshook I always thought the collective noun for a group of bankers should be „a wunch“.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

              #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

              J This user is from outside of this forum
              J This user is from outside of this forum
              John Rohde Jensen
              wrote on last edited by
              #22

              @PavelASamsonov @cstross SCRUM were a nice common sense idea once. Then management and consultants got hold of it.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov There are some things that are useful in Scrum, but those things are usually what gets thrown out first.

                Then there are things like ”velocity” that is some real bullshit.

                And once you have ”leaders” imposing Scrum, it’s not self-organised anymore. So in practice it probably only works when the team is self-organised to begin with, which makes the whole framework have very limited value.

                woe2youW This user is from outside of this forum
                woe2youW This user is from outside of this forum
                woe2you
                wrote on last edited by
                #23

                @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's all just "we suck at gathering requirements and writing specifications so we're going to dress that up as a virtue and give it a fancy name".

                Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Travis F WT Travis F W

                  @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov for the record, "rock solid velocity" was the end-goal of James Shore's version of Agile (not Scrum), which I have always appreciated.

                  Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                  Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                  Magnus Ahltorp
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #24

                  @travisfw @kwramm The ”immutable” Scrum Guide has been updated(!) many times since I was doing anything called Scrum more than 15 years ago, and conveniently that version of the document seems hard to find, but I believe you. But even the current Scrum Guide says that ”Other sources provide patterns, processes, and insights that complement the Scrum framework”.

                  Magnus AhltorpA Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                    @travisfw @kwramm The ”immutable” Scrum Guide has been updated(!) many times since I was doing anything called Scrum more than 15 years ago, and conveniently that version of the document seems hard to find, but I believe you. But even the current Scrum Guide says that ”Other sources provide patterns, processes, and insights that complement the Scrum framework”.

                    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                    Magnus Ahltorp
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #25

                    @travisfw @kwramm Velocity has been part of the Scrum story since at least then, and saying that it isn’t Scrum is like saying Trump isn’t president of the US because there’s no mention of him in the constitution.

                    Magnus AhltorpA Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K 2 Replies Last reply
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                    • woe2youW woe2you

                      @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's all just "we suck at gathering requirements and writing specifications so we're going to dress that up as a virtue and give it a fancy name".

                      Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                      Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                      Magnus Ahltorp
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #26

                      @woe2you It’s not only ”we suck at gathering requirements”, it’s also ”it’s often not meaningful to gather requirements in a vacuum”. Those are actually among the good parts, having stakeholder representation in the team. ”Fancy name” is among the bad parts.

                      ShephallmassiveS 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                        @travisfw @kwramm Velocity has been part of the Scrum story since at least then, and saying that it isn’t Scrum is like saying Trump isn’t president of the US because there’s no mention of him in the constitution.

                        Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                        Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                        Magnus Ahltorp
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #27

                        @travisfw @kwramm According to Wikipedia, the ”Scrum Guide” has only existed since 2009. Is that true? If it’s true, what holy document were people using before that to say what was Scrum and what wasn’t?

                        Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • Cadbury MooseC Cadbury Moose

                          @mwshook @PavelASamsonov

                          The Laundry books are like that, a nice Lovecraftian (or other) horror story spliced with Cold War bureaucracy and IT.

                          This moose got nowhere near "death march" programming and Agile, but did have to endure ISO9000/BS5750 and "Lean", plus "Race to the bottom" Outsourcing/Offshoring, "Everything at the cheapest possible price", and every problem/change management system being worse than the one before.

                          I'm retired now. I have no regrets.

                          Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                          Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                          Pavel A. Samsonov
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #28

                          @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook If you liked Laundry Files you might like The Rook, Antimemetics Division, and Monday Begins on Saturday.

                          JayJ 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

                            @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook If you liked Laundry Files you might like The Rook, Antimemetics Division, and Monday Begins on Saturday.

                            JayJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            JayJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            Jay
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #29

                            @PavelASamsonov @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook
                            +1 for antimemetics division

                            HighlandLawyerH 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

                              #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

                              CatC This user is from outside of this forum
                              CatC This user is from outside of this forum
                              Cat
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #30

                              @PavelASamsonov this happened to me about as literally as possible on this plane

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • JayJ Jay

                                @PavelASamsonov @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook
                                +1 for antimemetics division

                                HighlandLawyerH This user is from outside of this forum
                                HighlandLawyerH This user is from outside of this forum
                                HighlandLawyer
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #31

                                @jaystephens @PavelASamsonov @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook
                                There is no antimemetics division

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                  @travisfw @kwramm According to Wikipedia, the ”Scrum Guide” has only existed since 2009. Is that true? If it’s true, what holy document were people using before that to say what was Scrum and what wasn’t?

                                  Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #32

                                  @ahltorp @travisfw The oldest book I have in my library is Schwaber's "Software Development with Scrum" from 2002, which is quite interesting. It's a lot more people / culture focused than even the Scrum guide (there's just so much you can write on 11 pages). They do have burndowns there, but even their they put in bold that it's (delivered) "results" that matter. The burndown shows how much work remains so you can plan. That's it. Overall the book feels very close to the Agile Manifesto

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                    @travisfw @kwramm Velocity has been part of the Scrum story since at least then, and saying that it isn’t Scrum is like saying Trump isn’t president of the US because there’s no mention of him in the constitution.

                                    Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #33

                                    @ahltorp @travisfw well, yes, it's been part of the Scrum "story" just like certifications, trainers and whatnot. But it's not integral to Scrum.

                                    You can do Scrum without "Velocity". You can use any other method to a) track how much work you do (better = track how much value is delivered and realized) and b) how much you can commit and reliably deliver at the end of the sprint (overcommitting = disappointed client).
                                    You could track man-hours instead, and it works.

                                    Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                      @travisfw @kwramm The ”immutable” Scrum Guide has been updated(!) many times since I was doing anything called Scrum more than 15 years ago, and conveniently that version of the document seems hard to find, but I believe you. But even the current Scrum Guide says that ”Other sources provide patterns, processes, and insights that complement the Scrum framework”.

                                      Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #34

                                      @ahltorp @travisfw I read the Scrum guide first in 2014 or so, after starting off with all kinds of books that add tons of extra complexity.

                                      It's kinda liberating how simple Scrum can be. I feel the simpler you keep it, the more powerful it is.

                                      And if in doubt between the Scrum guide and what helps your team: Talk to your team FIRST about what works for them - that's what Retrospectives are for - that's pretty much in line with Schwaber's book that I mentioned in my other reply. People first!

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                        @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov There are some things that are useful in Scrum, but those things are usually what gets thrown out first.

                                        Then there are things like ”velocity” that is some real bullshit.

                                        And once you have ”leaders” imposing Scrum, it’s not self-organised anymore. So in practice it probably only works when the team is self-organised to begin with, which makes the whole framework have very limited value.

                                        G This user is from outside of this forum
                                        G This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Atomic Orbitals
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #35

                                        @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov I've worked with someone who was keen on "velocity" and quite unreasonable about sticking to it. Fortunately I haven't encountered anyone else who used the term, let alone is that unreasonable about sticking to it. I'd probably end up a nervous, twitching wreck if I did!

                                        Magnus AhltorpA crazyeddieC 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬

                                          @ahltorp @travisfw well, yes, it's been part of the Scrum "story" just like certifications, trainers and whatnot. But it's not integral to Scrum.

                                          You can do Scrum without "Velocity". You can use any other method to a) track how much work you do (better = track how much value is delivered and realized) and b) how much you can commit and reliably deliver at the end of the sprint (overcommitting = disappointed client).
                                          You could track man-hours instead, and it works.

                                          Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Magnus Ahltorp
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #36

                                          @kwramm I can’t rely completely on my memory here, because Scrum has just existed around me for about 20 years, and I haven’t cared about it so much that I’ve remembered dates.

                                          But as I understand it, Scrum (as a generic corporate tool) began as books and certifications, then the Scrum guide came later. So ”integral to Scrum” can’t really be defined by what’s in the Scrum guide. And in fact certifications seem to have been very integral to ”what Scrum is” in the early days.

                                          Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K 1 Reply Last reply
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