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  3. Everyone loves blaming a victim.

Everyone loves blaming a victim.

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  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

    Everyone loves blaming a victim. "You are encouraging other weird/creepy people" GTFO with that.

    I get a few of these EVERY TIME I post about sexism on this website. I'm sick of it- you all are making me want to delete this server and abandon Fedi. I'm totally serious.

    This is as bad as sexual harassment.

    disorderlyfD This user is from outside of this forum
    disorderlyfD This user is from outside of this forum
    disorderlyf
    wrote last edited by
    #36

    @vkc Given your follower count here and on YouTube, one thing I expect is getting lost in the noise is the frequency bias. It's been a hot minute since something like this happened to me, but I have multiple orders of magnitude less followers on every platform combined than you do here.

    It's easy to block and say "yeah, so that was weird" when it's something you can go months, even years without experiencing. I bet most of the people saying that shit to you have no idea what it's like to experience that daily, multiple times a day even.

    Is it fact that there's a lot of "weirdos" (I hate using that word here because I don't think weird should be good or bad, just not-average) and creeps on the internet? Yes. Does literally everyone figure that out within five minutes? Yes. Are there infinitely better things someone can suggest to mitigate or prevent it in future than just blocking and moving on? Yes. Should you at least acknowledge how much it sucks, to say the least, before giving unsolicited advice? Yeah, if you actually want to help the person and not just collect brownie points.

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    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

      FYI this was in response to me being exhausted, as the amount of men creepily proposing to me continues to grow.

      I was tired of being catcalled, I *talked about it*, and was told I was encouraging it.

      This is the kind of behavior that drives women off of Fedi and toward closed platforms like Instagram where blocking is (seemingly) easier (and where there's more women).

      https://linuxmom.net/@vkc/116007560411131080

      PedestrianError :vbus: :nblvt:P This user is from outside of this forum
      PedestrianError :vbus: :nblvt:P This user is from outside of this forum
      PedestrianError :vbus: :nblvt:
      wrote last edited by
      #37

      @vkc How in the hell can these jackasses accuse you of encouraging marriage proposals from strangers? Literally the only way a person could encourage such bizarre behavior would be to say, "hey, I want to be married but I'm not in a relationship. Would someone please propose to me?"

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      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

        Everyone loves blaming a victim. "You are encouraging other weird/creepy people" GTFO with that.

        I get a few of these EVERY TIME I post about sexism on this website. I'm sick of it- you all are making me want to delete this server and abandon Fedi. I'm totally serious.

        This is as bad as sexual harassment.

        Robin BartonR This user is from outside of this forum
        Robin BartonR This user is from outside of this forum
        Robin Barton
        wrote last edited by
        #38

        @vkc I also read that responding only spreads their hate

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        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

          FYI this was in response to me being exhausted, as the amount of men creepily proposing to me continues to grow.

          I was tired of being catcalled, I *talked about it*, and was told I was encouraging it.

          This is the kind of behavior that drives women off of Fedi and toward closed platforms like Instagram where blocking is (seemingly) easier (and where there's more women).

          https://linuxmom.net/@vkc/116007560411131080

          Woozle HypertwinW This user is from outside of this forum
          Woozle HypertwinW This user is from outside of this forum
          Woozle Hypertwin
          wrote last edited by
          #39

          @vkc

          [problem-solving mode engaged, hope this is appropriate]

          Would it help if you had another mod to preemptively block these f#ckers before they have a chance to get in your head?

          ...or, longer-term, federated auto-blocking so you could let other instances do much of the mod work...?

          Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • Woozle HypertwinW Woozle Hypertwin

            @vkc

            [problem-solving mode engaged, hope this is appropriate]

            Would it help if you had another mod to preemptively block these f#ckers before they have a chance to get in your head?

            ...or, longer-term, federated auto-blocking so you could let other instances do much of the mod work...?

            Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
            Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
            Veronica Explains
            wrote last edited by
            #40

            @woozle I wouldn't subject anyone else to the crap I see on this site. I have nightmares after some of the things I see. Some sort of federated blocking would be a good start but we've seen from Bluesky how something like that also has abuse potential.

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            • Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
              Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
              Veronica Explains
              wrote last edited by
              #41

              @mcSlibinas was I looking for a reason to block? Did I look like I was unsure about it? Was I asking for advice?

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                Veronica Explains
                wrote last edited by
                #42

                @mcSlibinas I WAS LITERALLY POSTING ABOUT BLOCKING

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • OlivierD This user is from outside of this forum
                  OlivierD This user is from outside of this forum
                  Olivier
                  wrote last edited by
                  #43

                  @mcSlibinas so blame the victim?

                  @vkc

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • bo0tzzM This user is from outside of this forum
                    bo0tzzM This user is from outside of this forum
                    bo0tzz
                    wrote last edited by
                    #44

                    @vkc @mcSlibinas why are you blaming her for others' awful behaviour

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                      Everyone loves blaming a victim. "You are encouraging other weird/creepy people" GTFO with that.

                      I get a few of these EVERY TIME I post about sexism on this website. I'm sick of it- you all are making me want to delete this server and abandon Fedi. I'm totally serious.

                      This is as bad as sexual harassment.

                      himayH This user is from outside of this forum
                      himayH This user is from outside of this forum
                      himay
                      wrote last edited by
                      #45

                      @vkc Your content is consistently good. I appreciate it. Loved the Apple Arm distro review. Don't let the bastards get you down. Thanks!

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • DiegovskyD This user is from outside of this forum
                        DiegovskyD This user is from outside of this forum
                        Diegovsky
                        wrote last edited by
                        #46

                        @mcSlibinas @vkc brother these are all responses on her post, stop being a PITA

                        blocking only gets you so far, this is a systemic issue and frankly what are you adding to the discussion?

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                          FYI this was in response to me being exhausted, as the amount of men creepily proposing to me continues to grow.

                          I was tired of being catcalled, I *talked about it*, and was told I was encouraging it.

                          This is the kind of behavior that drives women off of Fedi and toward closed platforms like Instagram where blocking is (seemingly) easier (and where there's more women).

                          https://linuxmom.net/@vkc/116007560411131080

                          The CyberwitchC This user is from outside of this forum
                          The CyberwitchC This user is from outside of this forum
                          The Cyberwitch
                          wrote last edited by
                          #47

                          @vkc the only way to get rid of sexual harassment, racism, transphobia, etc is to pretend it doesn't exist and hope it goes away on its own 🙃

                          1 Reply Last reply
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