Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
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@alice that's not a rephrasing though. That's a different question.
@alice @pdcawley Yeah! I have occasionally got turned on looking at myself, but I would never want to fuck myself. I got turned on because my subconscious was like "wow I might actually be attractive, better activate biological mechanisms that prepare my body for having sex." Not "wow what a sexy woman behind that glass, I sure want to have sex with her."
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice
Ummβ¦.maybe if I had a mochi minky pajamasβ¦also I may have an intimate encounter with myselfβ¦ it depends I mean even if you shoot two identical twins out they experience time differently life differently, so I have no idea if my other half would be attracted to me, I doubt it, if we were a hive mind stuff could be boring. Idk thereβs simply too many things and we ourselves are simply too many things for me to calculate all that and say for sure. -
Now I'm curious how different the answers would be if I'd phrased the question as "If you could be someone else for a day, and had the opportunity to, would you fuck yourself?"
@alice
If I were someone else then who would be me? -
Now I'm curious how different the answers would be if I'd phrased the question as "If you could be someone else for a day, and had the opportunity to, would you fuck yourself?"
@alice *keeps laughying in plural system.*
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@alice
Ehm... honestly? That is an interesting question. Wow. I think I might not, but now I have to think about why I wouldn't and if I could do anything different to make me more want to fuck myself.That is one kind of self-reflection I want and also don't want to talk to my therapist about.
@momo I asked my (very cishet) mom a (watered down) version of this question, and she was like "eww, no".
Apparently she likes penises, and body hair, and boy-smell, and such.
Though she shaves her body, wears makeup and perfume, and dresses feminine.
And it blew my mind that you'd want to make yourself less attractive to yourself.
I mean, I haven't always found myself attractive, even though I know a lot of other folx did, but I've always worked to make myself more attractive *to me*. It took a lot of unlearning toxic shit, but now that I can find myself attractive, I *wish* I'd gotten here so much sooner.
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@alice β¦Well, if I were someone else I wouldn't be *me*, would I? It feels a bit like a cop-out answer, but I really can't say what decisions I'd make if I suddenly had a whole different brain chemistry to deal with.
(There's not nearly enough fiction that addresses that sort of thing. I guess neurotypical people don't really think much about how *physical* their brains are? But insofar as our minds are intangible, that "software" is still affected by the "hardware" it runs onβ¦)
@pandabutter I would've said a copy of yourself, a clone, and alternate reality version of you, etc, but any wording I used would invite some percentage of people to be like "well that changes everything"
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@alice Hell, no! Iβm deeply surprised anyone ever has. Iβm ugly, (now) tubby, and a lot of work either in a relationship or merely to interest in a hook-up. Who the fuck wants meβ½
@IanAMartin assuming your profile photo is of you, you don't seem unattractive to me (and I like to think I have fairly discerning taste)
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@momo I asked my (very cishet) mom a (watered down) version of this question, and she was like "eww, no".
Apparently she likes penises, and body hair, and boy-smell, and such.
Though she shaves her body, wears makeup and perfume, and dresses feminine.
And it blew my mind that you'd want to make yourself less attractive to yourself.
I mean, I haven't always found myself attractive, even though I know a lot of other folx did, but I've always worked to make myself more attractive *to me*. It took a lot of unlearning toxic shit, but now that I can find myself attractive, I *wish* I'd gotten here so much sooner.
@alice
Okay, then I should bring this up with my therapist, because this could lead to self-caring behavior and he is a very big fan of his depression patients actively self-care, taking breaks, doing stuff just for themselves (like taking a long bath instead of a quick shower)...Thank you for planting that idea in my head. π₯°
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@jwdt @gabriel @alice This, I find. One may not be their own type, but it's possible they are someone else's. Some traditionally masc or fem features may not work for those that are not attracted to such things, but they could be important to someone else.
Also, I wouldn't want to forget that some may not feel attraction to physical presentation much at all (I sadly forget the term), but the other kind of things that make a person, the more mental side. Maybe they'd be with themselves in that regard? Alice's alternative question phrasing would have accounted for that angle, I do suppose.
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@gabriel @alice @jwdt I think there's also a general difference between finding oneself attractive and getting turned on by oneself?
And of course also the whole "not my type" thingBesides that I think many people see themselves not the same as other people see them: because we're all aware about our inner states and every tiny little thought. But I wouldn't be aware of those things if I would just observe a clone of me
So it doesn't seem unusual if somebody finds me hot, even if I don't -
@gabriel @alice @jwdt I think there's also a general difference between finding oneself attractive and getting turned on by oneself?
And of course also the whole "not my type" thingBesides that I think many people see themselves not the same as other people see them: because we're all aware about our inner states and every tiny little thought. But I wouldn't be aware of those things if I would just observe a clone of me
So it doesn't seem unusual if somebody finds me hot, even if I don't@gabriel @alice @jwdt (and besides that, I understand "being with someone" as "dating someone" and that doesn't even need sex or physical attraction at all. So of course I can expect somebody to want to be with me, even if I don't get turned on by myself, even if that would mean, that nobody does either (which I don't agree with/think is true))
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Now I'm curious how different the answers would be if I'd phrased the question as "If you could be someone else for a day, and had the opportunity to, would you fuck yourself?"
@alice my answer would change. I answered yes, but I probably wouldn't fuck myself, because I'm just not really compatible with myself sex-wise. And I'm just not into sex that's not good for either party. Unless "being someone else" would also change some of my sexual preferences (in the right way), then I would fuck myself
(Realistically speaking I probably would fuck myself either way, just because it's a once in a lifetime chance and would make a good story
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@momo I asked my (very cishet) mom a (watered down) version of this question, and she was like "eww, no".
Apparently she likes penises, and body hair, and boy-smell, and such.
Though she shaves her body, wears makeup and perfume, and dresses feminine.
And it blew my mind that you'd want to make yourself less attractive to yourself.
I mean, I haven't always found myself attractive, even though I know a lot of other folx did, but I've always worked to make myself more attractive *to me*. It took a lot of unlearning toxic shit, but now that I can find myself attractive, I *wish* I'd gotten here so much sooner.
@momo @alice haha, that's the reason I (not a man) used to use men's deodorant: it smells good to me (which probably isn't by accident: I'm the target group since I'm (also) attracted to men). And I want to smell good!
(Then there are also things that are hot on other people but just not my style. But I'm also already hot enough without those things)
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@alice I'd date myself, I think I'm really attractive. Fuck myself? As myself, maybe; as someone else, no
But also demisexual so@AbsentAbigail that's fair.
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Do you ever get turned on by your own body/presentation?
Pick the answer that best represents your current gender expression and orientation.
@alice Nothing from above because I'm an egosexual.
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