Everyone loves blaming a victim.

Kevin Gamin

@vkc The Fediverse LOVES to victim blame. I remember @chanda dealing with a lot of that when trying to handle all the sexiest and racist junk thrown their way.

Victoria :neocat_flag_trans::spinny_cat_lesbian:

@kevingamin@twit.social @vkc@linuxmom.net @chanda@blacktwitter.io its not fediverse but people in general. Humans are shit

Veronica Explains

@tragivictoria @kevingamin @chanda but it also happens A LOT here on Fedi. It's important to call that out because every day I hear replyfolk after replyfolk tell me that Fedi is immune from this sort of behavior. It's not and we have to say that.

Veronica Explains

FYI this was in response to me being exhausted, as the amount of men creepily proposing to me continues to grow.

I was tired of being catcalled, I *talked about it*, and was told I was encouraging it.

This is the kind of behavior that drives women off of Fedi and toward closed platforms like Instagram where blocking is (seemingly) easier (and where there's more women).

https://linuxmom.net/@vkc/116007560411131080

Eyal Kalderon 🌌

@vkc I'm so sorry this happened to you! Be true to yourself, call out bad behavior when you see it, and surround yourself with people who treat you like a human being (and encourage you to do the same). ️

UberZeitgeist

@vkc - Personally, I find the Fedi a quiet, reflective, non-noise environment with a ton of wallflower folks just posting their thoughts often to an empty room/no replies. Contrasted with the hot mess that is Xwitter - moreso now, as X changed its posting rules and now folks are just posting porn and way, way worse base misogynistic junk. I'm sorry if the baddies have found you. I've only found nice folks here in this quiet corner of the 'net.

Victoria :neocat_flag_trans::spinny_cat_lesbian:

@vkc@linuxmom.net @kevingamin@twit.social @chanda@blacktwitter.io oh, i didnt meant to deny that nor disagree, just wanted to say that its not fediverse-specific. Aside from that 100% agreed

Veronica Explains

@ebkalderon "happened" is an understatement, it's something I see nearly every time I read my mentions.

Eyal Kalderon 🌌

@vkc That's terrible... I'm genuinely sorry.

daniel:// stenberg://

@vkc hold out, keep up and remember that there are many awesome people out there as well, even if sometimes the bad ones take all the oxygen! and of course: we support you whatever decision you do to keep sane and at peace

Veronica Explains

@tragivictoria it's a little like someone saying "cancer is hard" and coming into their replies saying "all diseases are hard". I am specifically addressing Fedi, because misogyny happens here. A lot. Every day. And we need to *say that.*

@kevingamin @chanda

Alexandre Oliva

eeek

I guess with your success and your visibility, you get some of the worst of humankind

so sorry. more strength to you!

bo0tzz

@UberZeitgeist "it's fine for me" isn't helpful in the slightest

kgndiue

@vkc You are right. I can totally understand if you chose to leave fedi/social media etc. Im a cynic and for me this is behaviour that people will show when accountability and consequence is lacking. So, on the internet and the fediverse there is no solution, except maybe small, vetted communities where you can only become member when someone vouches for newbies.

Its a bleeding wound and it needs to be recognised and tackled. Otherwhise people will be mobbed of fedi like everywhere else.

jack

@vkc please don't! it shouldn't be up to you to block the creeps - their instance mods should be doing that for us...

Veronica Explains

@jackeric yes, but men also need to stand up to other men when this happens. They need to change culture. Online it's easy- get in the way when you see it.

Denny

@vkc you are in the right. I don't care how a woman dresses, it's the man's fault if he acts inappropriately. Please ignore these stupid evil people that blame the victim. Not all men Are walking scum. But too many of us are.

jack

@vkc you mean against the guys who say "marry me", or the guys who offer unsolicited advice... or all of the above?

Veronica Explains

@jackeric yes

kgndiue

@vkc So if you chose to leave, disable comments on all videos and thats that, all power to you. Why engage with this bs when this is the reaction you get?

My way was to follow the interesting people on mastodon and thats it. Since i live in a country where a web presence requires you to provide your real adress and said country has a rising fascist tide that likes to "make visits" i will not engage further nor keep a constant pseudonym.

Do whats best for you.